Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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