Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
