I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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