So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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