who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
