I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
