can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
