names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Enjoy the penises
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
