Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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