i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
