I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
