Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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