i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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