The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
