Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
