When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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