Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
