soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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