I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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