I want to walk on stilts...naked
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
