Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
