I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
