none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he wants to bone in the snuggie
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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