butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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