i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
