i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
