her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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