Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
