Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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