My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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