Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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