what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
