Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
