what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
