Its about making memories worth repressing
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
