He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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