He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
