I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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