i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
