try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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