Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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