I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
