Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
