it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
