dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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