Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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