just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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