is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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