Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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