Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
