so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
