...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
