brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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