Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize