best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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