Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
