suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
