at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We were destined to go to rehab together
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
