I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
