eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
